What’s on

At the White Elephant Enclosure

As the World awaits the results of the Top Secret Consultants’ Report to see if anyone has been able to answer the burning question ‘What is a White Elephant Enclosure‘, SomersetClive takes a look at what’s on offer at the venue this month.

Kicking off events on Friday night we have the final in the series of three Comedy Nights and what a joke they’ve been. The brainchild of the WEE Smalltown Culture and Media Person (SCAMP), Billy Elliot, the Comedy Nights have been the latest in a long line of ideas to get people into the WEE which look good on paper but fail to achieve the objective of bums on seats.

The first Comedy Night saw rows of empty seats and led to the decision to try ‘Cabaret’ style seating with tables and chairs for the second event. However, under half the available seats 80 were sold and it looks to be a similar success this month, with 30 seats currently unsold.

Over half of the available 198 seats have been sold for a performance by tribute act ‘The Woodworkers‘, another example of how the WEE tries desperately to appeal to a target audience who would rather stay at home sat in their recliner chairs with their fur-lined slippers on their feet.

For younger audiences there will be two performances of ‘A SaD World‘ on Saturday 10th June. A SaD World is the story of three friends who try to impose their will on a small town.

Starring Dictator Dullard and Deputy Dictators Sherry and Knickers, watch in awe as together they decide to redefine the rules of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council in an attempt to subvert the idea of a Council being open, transparent and honest.

The Theatre National Live Screening of popular comedy ‘Ratbag‘ on June 16th is sure to appeal to the current audience of two people.

The end of the month sees several workshops for The Boredom Project, which is inviting local residents to write the script, perform the script, write the theme tunes, sing the theme tunes and enjoy free sandwiches paid for by Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council.

Workshops available include ‘How to successfully apply for grant funding running into hundreds of thousands of pounds’, ‘Getting money for old rope’, ‘How to tick all the correct boxes and use the proper buzzwords on grant applications’, ‘Keeping yourself employed on a massive salary for a year with minimum effort’, and ‘What scheme can I come up with for next year? Because I can’t possible do the same thing for a third year.’

With such an amazing and popular array of events taking place in June is it any wonder that the WEE needs such a huge injection of Smalltown and Dullbridge Council Tax Payer’s money?

For goodness sake, won’t someone please put that poor Elephant out of its misery?

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