Only a few days after residents of Smalltown questioned why a cafe in the town had been renovated over five years ago, but had never opened, the owner of the premises has confirmed that it will open this week.
Speculation had been rife amongst residents as to why the interior of the cafe looked like the Mary Celeste, with some residents asking if it was some sort of tax fraud or money laundering operation. Others suggested that it was due to either a lack of staff or a fire safety certificate.
However the owner of TheTerrific Teashop Owner Nota Alias confirmed that it would open later this week and explained “Being a teashop we were worried that the Mayor might take up residence as we know she loves tea and cutting ribbons to announce that a shop is open.
We know that a cafe around the corner from here had problems in the past, when the previous Smalltown Missing Person, Teresa Stunt used to take over the premises to hold her meetings. It was really difficult to get her to leave at the end of the day, plus having her in the building put off our other customers who wanted to enjoy their coffee without being pestered to vote BeFuddled.
We weren’t prepared to take the risk of Dictator Dullard turning up, so we have had no alternative but to keep our doors firmly closed.
However, as we are now the subject of rumours we needed to throw caution to the wind and open in an effort to prove everyone wrong.”
The Terrific Teashop will be the 94th cafe in Smalltown, however Mr Alias has stressed that it will be totally different to all the other cafes in Smalltown as it will sell tea, coffee, cake and sandwiches, rather than coffee, tea, sandwiches and cake.
Mr Alias confirmed that he hopes the Teashop will open today, but has asked that nobody conveys this news to Dictator Dullard.