We are now over half way through Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard’s End of Term Reports for Councillors on Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council and it’s not been very good news for the majority. Today sees Dictator Dullard’s view on a Councillor who we can only assume didn’t expect to get elected and didn’t want the job in the first place, given his total lack of interest in the role.
Ben Leftcame
Working ManParty
Sorry. Who?
Cllr Leftcame supposedly serves on the Finance and Misappropriation, Town Unimprovements and Planning Committees. However he is more noticeable for his absence, having attended only 3 of 7 Finance meetings, 1 of 15 planning meetings and not a single Town Unimprovements meeting.
From a possible total of 34 meetings Cllr Leftcame has only managed to turn up to eight, which gives him an attendance of a mere 24%.
As a consequence of this he has made zero contributions to any topic discussed by Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council and it is hard to see why he hasn’t been expelled for playing truant so frequently.
For reasons that I can not comprehend Cllr Leftcame is publicity shy and refuses to reveal his identity. When he does attend meetings he does so with a paperbag over his head. I am told that there are no photographs of him in existence and this is the reason why he failed to turn up for the end of term school photo.
Effort: -94/10
Achievement: -94/10
Conclusion: Bottom of the class. I simply cannot understand why Cllr Leftcame continues to claim to be a Councillor, he really hasn’t made the most of his time – in fact he’s barely spent any time here at all and certainly hasn’t attempted to represent the views of his constituents nor indeed his own views. If he had even a shred of decency he would to the honourable thing and leave forthwith. Certainly, come the revolution, Cllrs Sherry, Knickers and myself will waste absolutely no time in expelling Cllr Leftcame.