SomersetClive continues to bring you Dictator Dullard’s End of Term Reports as she delivers her verdict on the Councillors who make up Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council.
Councillor Prue Hairdresser
Illiberal Party
I’m sorry, who am I writing a report for now? Oh yes. Cllr Hairdresser. The woman who has had the audacity to miss four of my seven Full Town Council meetings and therefore has missed out on my regular lectures in which I share my wonderful words of wisdom.
I find it a great shame that Cllr Hairdresser does not put in an appearance at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) more often, as I believe we have a lot in common. Cllr Hairdresser likes smiling at people, and I like smiling at people too. Cllr Hairdresser likes cake, and I like cake too. Cllr Hairdresser likes tea, and I like tea too.
I have found Cllr Hairdresser a delight to work with, she is always willing to vote the way I would like her to vote, rather than doing what Squire Teflon tells her to, which is rare amongst Illiberal Party members.
Although the name ‘Hairdresser’ is often mentioned in the local media it is rarely preceded by the word ‘Councillor’ but is instead followed by the word ‘Shop’, which is a pity because I have found Cllr Hairdresser to be amongst the more supportive of all the councillors.
I understand that outside of school hours she is always willing to listen to the views of her constituents, tries to help them with their problems, and is happy to raise their concerns in council meetings. This is a novel concept to me, I prefer to do as I please and am unaware that I have constituents.
This hasn’t been her first term as a Councillor, I’m told she’s been here for years and has previously attained the important job of judging the annual Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council organised Garden Competition. I was unaware that this competition had taken place in previous years and, now that I do know, I will obviously have to relaunch it. Cllr Hairdresser will not be judging it in future though, that job will fall to me.
Effort: 1/10
Achievements: 1/10
Conclusion: I have heard rumours that Cllr Hairdresser is only here because Squire Teflon was short on candidates last year and put her name down without asking her first. I will be asking Cllr Hairdresser to think long and hard about whether she really wants to be an Illiberal Party member, as I feel she is far too nice to be a Smalltown and Dullbridge Illiberal and is more suited to being a BeFuddled.