The interim results of the English, Mathematics and Information Technology examinations undertaken by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council staff at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) have been released and the consensus appears to be ‘Must do better.’.
In English the exam board noted that they had been unable to mark some of the essays on the subject of ‘Minutes Signed in Accordance with the Requirements of the Local Government Act 1972‘, because SaDTC staff had been unable to find the paperwork and staff had claimed that “The dog ate my homework“.
The exam board has requested that staff try to ascertain which minutes are missing and to locate them, ready for a further examination.
SaDTC fared marginally better in I.T. although it was noted that areas of the website were out-of-date and need to be brought up to date as soon as possible.
However, it was Mathematics which gave the most cause for concern, with the board highlighting several issues. A major problem concerns the lack of any ability to calculate the amount of interest gained on council investments and bank accounts, with staff saying “We haven’t got a clue whether our bank account is paying a decent level of interest nor do we know if we could get a better return on our savings elsewhere. What we really need is some financial advice. We can’t be expected to understand all this technical stuff.”
A failure to raise invoices for services provided and a lack of chasing up debts was also noted, with staff defending their results by saying “We were aware that we have a long list of people and companies who haven’t paid us for services we’ve provided, so the easiest way to stop adding to that problem was to stop sending out invoices in the first place. That cuts down on the amount of work needed to get people to pay up.”
The exam board also raised questions about the amount of petty cash held in the office cash box, which had been frittered away without approval or details of what it had been spent on. Council staff confirmed that from December 2022 office petty cash would cease. However, anyone concerned that this could lead to a lack of tea and biscuits need have no fear, as SaDTC has a debit card to cover this expenditure. However, the exam board noted that the card still bears the name of the previous Irresponsible Finance Officer and recommended that this be changed as a matter of urgency.
Smalltown New Administration Guru (SNAG) Katie Global said “The coursework for these exams took place before I took up my position. I would suggest that at most these are simple schoolgirl errors, most of which have now been sorted because we have taken Acting Irresponsible Finance Officer, Eileen Mutton’s calculator away from her.”