
CliveNation in conjunction with SomersetClive is proud to present the Christmas Pantomime, with an all-star cast and seats more comfortable than those at the White Elephant Enclosure, we invite you to join us for an amateur production of the world premiere of The Princess and the Forty Thieves. Showing thrice daily.
Our story opens deep in the heart of Somerset, where the Squire of Teflon rules the sleepy little villages of Smallvillia and Dullford with a rod. Of iron.
The Squire is used to getting his own way and woe-betide anyone who foils his plans for the Squire is not to be crossed.
The Squire purchased a Princess from Baron McGoat for a single gold coin many years ago and since then the villagers of Smallvillia and Dullford have paid through the nose for this folly.
Princess Wranglers have been and gone, trying to tame the Princess and bring her spending under control, but to no avail. What can be done?
Act Two. Scene Nine
Stage revolves to reveal Hayloft Palace.
The Ice Queen (Cllr. Eugenie Sherry) is sitting centre stage. On her left sits the Squire of Teflon all alone, and to her right the Magnificent Princess Wrangler of the First Order (Debby Karmary), and Widow Spanky (Cllr. Robert NotBothered), Wishy-Washy (Cllr. Jim Rabbithole) and Pussy in Cahoots (Cllr. Jock McCads). Villagers including Robyn Hoodie and Friar Turkey pack the room.
Ice Queen – We are here to decide our response to Tweedledee’s (Cllr. Barracuda) request that we supply a plan and reduce the deficit that the Princess is costing us. Does anyone have anything to say? Any suggestions? Any one? Please? Anything at all?
Robyn Hoodie slaps her thigh and steps forward – This is really quite absurd,
Somewhere the lines have become blurred.
The Princess is taking all our taxes,
We work hard while she relaxes.
You go on about the Cost of Living,
Yet we are expected to keep on giving.
Enough is enough you must do something,
And to an end this waste bring.
Friar Turk steps forward and distributes five golden coins to everyone. – On the first day of Taxmas you will get from villagers,
Five golden coins!
Three to spend on running costs,
One to spend on grants,
And the final one goes to the Princess.
Villagers shout – Shame, shame.
Friar Turk – I explain it in these simple terms,
So you can plainly see,
This kind of spending merely confirms,
The Princess’ hefty fee.
You cannot really justify,
Spending on this scale,
You need to stop and question why,
The Princess continues to fail.
Spending one coin in every five,
Is madness let me say.
Villagers need money to keep themselves alive.
On a Princess they shouldn’t pay.
Debby Karmary – I really don’t think we should have to hear,
From those who don’t hold our Princess dear.
The only people whose views should count,
Are those who spend a small amount,
To hire her services once or twice a year.
Figures show her benefits outweigh,
Anything we hear from those who say nay.
In terms of health and mental wellbeing,
Those benefits we are seeing.
So what if the majority,
Have questioned my superiority,
On this matter I know my facts.
You will have to trust me on that.
You will know my notice I have tendered,
I have no choice, I’ve surrendered.
But if you were to beg and plead,
I would gladly reverse this deed.
Lights dim.
.