The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Following a hugely unsuccessful opening event, which attracted huge amounts of Town Council funding and small crowds, the world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink opened and has now closed again.
The dynamic duo are now hard at work making a silk purse out of a pig’s ear.
Chapter Twelve.
“That was a welcome break, wasn’t it? The positions you get yourself into always amaze me. Were you a gymnast in a previous life?”
“Oh my Squire, you say the sweetest things. Do I really look like a gymnast?”
“Well, now you mention it. No. You don’t. That’s what makes it all the more amazing.”
“Oh. Thanks. Let’s get back to work.” Mistress Bones sounded rather miffed.
“Yes. Where were we? Ah yes. We were explaining why the Town Council won’t be getting their £16,000 back.”
“Whatever we do we mustn’t mention that we don’t have the £16,000 now, because the ice rink lost money.”
“Good point. Let’s gloss over the takings. What about this?”
‘Overall SaDDEST were pleased with the attendance and takings, given that it is the first time it has been tried and it was definitely a learning experience. The takings were sufficient to run the rink again at no further cost to the tax payer. There have been several areas where savings could be made. We have sourced a larger but cheaper rink. We intend to staff the rink with qualified volunteers.’
“That’s quite good. Don’t forget to add in an entire paragraph about generators and the difference between sizes. That will fill out the report.”
“Another great idea, my little love donut. Now let’s sum it up for them so there can be no room for confusion.”
‘Effectively running this project for a second year at no cost to the taxpayer has reduced the cost of the event from £16,000 to £8,000, and this is a similar amount to what is required to fund the 20 minute firework display the Town Council puts on every year. Given the skating rink provided exercise to residents and visitors for a month, it could be noted that this is excellent value for money, and an excellent way to promote health and wellbeing within our community, as well as meeting the aims of the shopping experience as mentioned previously.’
“Now that really does make it sound highly successful! You couldn’t make it clearer if you tried. But did it really provide exercise for residents. Wasn’t it a bit small for that?”
“Stop calling it small. Size doesn’t matter, I thought you’d know that by now. But yes – all those afternoons you and I spent in there together, with the ‘Closed’ sign on the door, were definitely exercise.”
“Very true. Shall we move on to the amazing plans for the next event?”
Squire Teflon looked at his watch. “We will have to leave that for another day. I need to get home to the wife.”
A flicker of sadness flickered across Mistress Bones face. “Yes. I suppose I should get home too. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. I wish we could be together.”
“I know my love, one day it will happen, but for now I have my reputation to think of. We will meet again tomorrow.”
He gently kissed the top of her head and the pair parted company to head to their respective homes.