SaDTC to spend £9,400 on ‘Festival of Bangs and Flashes’

Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council has once again agreed to fund the annual Festival of Bangs and Flashes. The event, which takes place for ten minutes on the night before Carnivoo, will see some residents of Smalltown gather on the Seafront to watch the ceremonial lighting of the bonfire, which is traditionally topped by all the people Squire Teflon considers to have upset him over the course of the year.

This year, due to high tide, the bonfire will be constructed on specially erected scaffolding, which will cost one third of the money allocated. The rest of the money will be spent on a few minutes of fireworks, as residents are encouraged to celebrate with the Squire.

The event is scheduled to take place at 7pm, but as usual and, because SaDTC can’t organise a p1ss up in a brewery, the actual start time will be up to an hour later, leaving residents chilled to the bone and muttering words of discontentment.

During the meeting to discuss funding, Cllr Bodge told the assembled councillors “This is a popular event and brings visitors and residents into Smalltown, where they can browse the shops and purchase refreshments. Whilst it is true that practically all the shops will be shut at that time of night, Squire Teflon’s close-friend, Mistress Bones, has agreed to keep her shop open for anyone needing any last-minute tat.

The costs to put on the display have increased, but that’s the way of the world isn’t it? Some people may say that in these times of austerity we’d be better off funding things which will actually improve the lives of residents, be it support for Citizen’s Advice or contributing to food banks, but where’s the fun in that? No, it’s much better to let the money go up in smoke.

Admittedly, SaDTC are now among only a handful of councils which still blow a lot of money on displays of this kind, with most councils now relying on commercial enterprise to put on the show – such as the Great Pier in Easton-under-Water or the holiday parks in Bream, as they tend to be the beneficiaries of an increase in visitors. We did approach Hellhole Holiday Park to see if they would consider sponsoring the event in full, but they said they’ll be putting on their own displays this year, to which local residents won’t be invited.”

It is hoped that Dullbridge residents won’t bother to travel to the show and there won’t be funding for an equivalent event in their own town.

One thought on “SaDTC to spend £9,400 on ‘Festival of Bangs and Flashes’

  1. We don’t need a display in Dullbridge. There are usually random free private displays in various streets and gardens, sometimes for weeks beforehand, we we can all benefit from, or swear at, according to how late at night it is

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