Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Councillor B.F Fencesitter woke yesterday to find that a clerical error by the Boundary Commission had accidentally drawn a new ward boundary which divided him in two.
“At first I thought they meant my house was on the boundary” said the befuddled councillor who represents the Sandals and Real Ale Party “but they confirmed it was actually ME who was now the boundary.”
No stranger to divided loyalties and a lack of clear opinions, Cllr Fencesitter stated that he welcomed the opportunity to hold two different views at once, and looks forward to being able to be on both sides of the argument at the same time.
Councillor Fencesitter is gradually adapting to his new role, helpfully advising people of his independent, freethinking but highly variable views regardless of whether they asked for them. “People often ask me what I stand for” said the divided member “and now I can honestly say I’m not sure, and give them whatever answer they want. They’re starting to call me ‘Schroedinger’s Councillor which I quite like. It makes me sound complicated and clever.”
The boundary commissioned confirmed to SomersetClive that they had no plans to alter the boundary, having already “wasted quite a lot of money on this“. Asked if he had any regrets about his position, Fencesitter stated “well, only that I probably shouldn’t have agreed to let the Mayor pull my splinters out”.